“AMNESTY, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.”

“Cribbage, n. A substitute for conversation among those to whom nature has denied ideas.”

“Bigamy, n. A mistake in taste for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a punishment called trigamy.”

“acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.”

“Marriage, n.: The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.”

“FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.”

“Redemption, n. Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned. The doctrine of Redemption is the fundamental mystery of our holy religions, and whoso believeth in it shall not perish, but have everlasting life in which to try to understand it.”