“Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.”

“Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.”

“Scriptures, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.”

“Redemption, n. Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned. The doctrine of Redemption is the fundamental mystery of our holy religions, and whoso believeth in it shall not perish, but have everlasting life in which to try to understand it.”

“Religion, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.”

“Mammon, n. The god of the world's leading religion. His chief temple is in the city of New York”

“An absolute monarchy is one in which the sovereign does as he pleases so long as he pleases the assassins.”