“Peace: A period of cheating between two periods of fighting.”

“Peace in international affairs: a period of cheating between periods of fighting”

“Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. ”

“Age - That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no longer the vigor to commit.”

“War: A by-product of the arts of peace.”

“Marriage, n.: The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.”

“Clarinet n. An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.”