“English is only a weak second language, so that the third language--which at the moment is getting the most play, since French is what I speak, read, and hear almost 24/7--is trying to take over the no. 2 spot.”

“French: why does this language even exist? Everyone there speaks english anyway.”

“We've been speaking English as a second language so long that we've forgotten it as our first.”

“Five of the most exciting words in the English language: "What shall I read next?”

“I phoned the Admiral back.'It's no use, Admiral, the French speak nothing but French.'There was a short pause on the end of the line then his voice rattled into life like a sabre.'They're lying, Tim!''What?''The French Navy must by law speak English, as English is the international maritime language of the sea.''Has anyone told the French that?'The line went dead for a moment before he thundered, 'Yes Nelson. At the battle of Trafalgar.'I tried to stifle an irresistibly British giggle not knowing if the Admiral was making a joke or not. I got it right. He was serious.”

“He may well speak French and Latin and half a dozen languages, but since he has nothing to say – what good are they?”