“Just the usual formality before the chaos begins. Like playing the National Anthem before a Cubs game.”

“Some of us find our lives abridged even before the paperback comes out. ”

“A very, terribly long time ago, before such things as televisionand good table manners or evenchildren, ferocious monstersroamed a younger, angrier world.”

“And just as it is with all proper grannies, she ordered me into my pink bunny jammies.”

“Liberal, shmiberal. That should be a new word. Shmiberal: one who is assumed liberal, just because he's a professional whiner in the newspaper. If you'll read the subtext for many of those old strips, you'll find the heart of an old-fashioned Libertarian. And I'd be a Libertarian, if they weren't all a bunch of tax-dodging professional whiners.”

“I will go to my grave in a state of abject endless fascination that we all have the capacity to become emotionally involved with a personality that doesn't exist.”

“Despite what they tell you, there are simply no moral absolutes in a complex world.”