“August in Florida is God's way of reminding us who's in charge.”

“They say God never gives us more than we can handle, but sometimes I think God has overestimated what I can take.”

“Protecting people from the truth is another way of shutting them out.”

“I told him, 'You can start in the middle and kiss your way thirty-six inches to the right, and then you can go back to the middle and kiss your way thirty-six inches to the left. You can just kiss my big ass.”

“Heads of warring nations could learn a lot about how to achieve lasting peace by watching dogs and cats who live in the same house.”

“My pet-sitting day ends around sunset, and it's very satisfying to know that I've made several living beings happy that day. That I left their food bowls sparkling clean and fresh water in their water bowls. That I brushed them so their coats shined, and played with them until all our hearts were beating faster. That I kissed them goodbye and left them with their tails wagging or flipping or at least raised in a happy kind of way. That's a heck of a lot more than any president, pope, prime minister, or potentate can say, and I wouldn't switch places with any of them.”

“When you're young, you're more prone to overlook friends' faults and forgive their weaknesses because you know you're all still cooking and nobody's done.”