“Incredible brilliance often dwells on the razor's edge of madness...”

“You know when I told you the joke about how a friend will help you move, but a real friend will help you move a body? I was only kidding.”

“...all members of Congress should be required wear NASCAR uniforms. You know, the kind with the patches? That way we'd know who is sponsoring each of them. I think he was kidding; they'd never be able to do it but it's a great idea and would wake people up in this country.”

“If he's like any other man I've ever met, it's not my smile he's going to be looking at.”

“Benjamin Franklin, that those who trade some of their liberty for a little temporary security deserve neither and will lose both. The wisdom of the founders never ceased to amaze him.”

“There aren’t many honest men or women in Washington anymore. Politicians get where they are by the sheer force of their egos, not their convictions. And you know what? It’s our fault as voters. We don’t demand better candidates, so we end up getting what we deserve—on both sides of the aisle.”

“Have a smile on your face for everyone you meet, and a plan to kill them.”