“You were broken before I ever took you to the Everneath.Remember how you were when you showed up on my doorstep? That had nothing to do with me.You came broken and that was the fault of this world.Not mine."I nodded again,a little less aggressively. "Why do you care if I get hurt?"All he said was, "I hate to see it.Whether you go with me or not,I don't like you getting hurt." But his face seemed to say more.As if there were something he wasn't telling me.Before I could ask him about it,his iPhone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out,read the screen, and then walked over to the window. "We'll finish this later.""Tell me why you care," I said.He put his hands on the windowsill. "Because it's you. Despite what you think of me,your pain will always be my pain.""There has to be more to it than that. What aren't you telling me,Cole?"He grinned. "How are you so good at reading me when you can't read anyone else around you?" He sighed, and as he climbed out the window,he said, "I love it.”
“How are you so good at reading me when you can't read anyone else around you?" He sighed, and as he climbed out the window, he said, "I love it.”
“Tell me why you care," I said.He put his hands on the windowsill. "Because it's you. Despite what you think of me, your pain will always be my pain.”
“Jack,I've messed up enough of you life.There's nothing you can do about Cole.I'll handle him. You don't have to-""Enough,Becks.This is what friends do. Before we got together, we were friends, remember? The friendship is still there,isn't it?"I didn't say anything for a moment. It was so much more than friendship on my side. Despite everything,I'd never stopped loving him."Isn't it,Becks? I mean,you didn't completely forget about me in the Everneath,did you?""No." Wasn't it obvious on my face? That he was the only thing I remembered? My memories of Jack should've been etched on my skin by now, for all the world to see."Okay.Friends talk.Friends help each other."I nodded."Friends don't eat friends' souls."I smiled. "Got it.""Can I ask you something else?""Of course.""Why did you finally decide to tell me the truth?"I traced my finger along the lip of my coffee mug. "It's probably nothing, but Cole seems anxious to keep me away from you in particular. I wanted to see how he'd react, and maybe that would give me an idea as to why."He grimaced. "I have an idea.""What?""He's in love with you."I wrinkled my forehead. "No he's not. He's not capable."Jack leaned forward. "Trust me, Becks. I know exactly what loving you looks like on a person.And he loves you."My face went warm and I looked away. If only Jack were talking about now,and not before. I shook my head. "There has to be something more to it."Jack put his chin on the palm of his hand. "Well,let's find out.""How?"Jack raised his eyes to meet mine, a shy little smile on his face, so different from his usual confident grin. "We'll spend time together. And let Cole know it.”
“Do you get it now,Becks?" Jack wrapped a finger around a long strand of my hair, and we were quiet as it slipped through his grip."You haven't moved on?"He chuckled. "I have a lifetime of memories made up of chestnut wars and poker games and midnight excursions and Christmas Dances...It's all you. It's only ever been you.I love you." The last part seemed to escape his lips unintentionally, and afterward he closed his eyes and put his head in his hands,as if he had a sudden headache. "I've gotta not say that out loud."The sight of how messed up he was made me want to wrap my arms around him and fold him into me and cushion him from everything that lay ahead.Instead,I reached for his hand. Brought it to my lips. Kissed it.He raised his head and winced. "You shouldn't do that," he said, even though he didn't pull his hand away."Why?""Because...it'll make everything worse...If you don't feel-"His voice cut off as I kissed his hand again, pausing with his fingers at my lips. He let out a shaky sigh and his hair flopped forward. Then he looked at my lips for a long moment. "What if...?"I bit my lower lip. "What?""What if we could be like this again?" He leaned in closer with a smile, and as he did,he said, "Are you going to steal my soul?""Um...it's not technically your soul that..."I couldn't finish my sentence. His lips brushed mine, and I felt the whoosh of transferring emotions,but it wasn't as strong as the last time. The space inside me was practically full again. The Shades were right. Six months was just long enough to recover.He kept his lips touching mine when he asked, "Is it okay?"Okay in that I wasn't going to suck him dry anymore. Not okay in that my own emotions were in hyperdrive. Only our lips touched.Thankfully there was space between us everywhere else.He took my silence to mean it was safe. We held our lips together, tentative and still.But he didn't let it stay that casual for long.He pressed his lips closer, parting his mouth against mine. I shivered,and he put his arms around me and pulled me closer so that our bodies were touching in so many places.He pulled back a little.His breath was on my lips."What is it?" I asked."I dreamed of you every night." He briefly touched his lips to mine again. "It felt so real.And when I'd wake up the next morning,it was like your disappearance was fresh. Like you'd left me all over again."I lowered my chin and tucked my head into his chest. "I'm sorry."He sighed and tightened his grip around me. "It never got easier.But the dreams themselves." I felt him shake his head. "It's like I had a physical connection to you. They were so real. Every night,you were in my room with me. It was so real."I tilted my head back so I could face him again, realizing for the first time how difficult it must've been for Jack. I kissed his chin, his cheek, and then his lips. "I'm sorry," I said again.He shook his head. "It's not your fault I dreamed of you, Becks.I just want to know if it was as real as it felt.""I don't know," I said. But I told him about the book I'd read on Orpheus and Eurydice, and my theory that it was her connection to Orpheus that saved her.”
“What would it take to get you to leave me alone?""I think you know exactly what it would take.""What if I make you a deal?"His eyebrows wrinkled. "A deal?"Lowering my voice,I said, "What if I promise to go with you,but not until right before the Tunnels come?" I took a step closer in my sudden enthusiasm, and he backed up. "As long as I go with you before the Tunnels actually come, it will work.If you give me these last moments with Jack alone, I'll go with you."I tried not to let my face show the lie I was telling.His face went blank,then it broke out in a wide grin. "Golly, do you pinky swear?" he said sarcastically. When I didn't answer,he continued, "Your little plan would involve me taking quite a bit of faith.You're not exactly a safe bet."I guess I wasn't surprised. But I was so tired of Cole. I looked him directly in the eye. "If you can tell when I'm lying, you should know without a doubt when I'm telling the truth." I put my face even closer to his. "Here's the truth. I.Will.Never.Ever.Go with you."Cole's eyes became tight,and then I saw something on his face I'd never seen before.Genuine pain.I took in a short breath of surprise, but I stood my ground. If the hurt on his face was as real as it looked, maybe that's what it would take to get him to back down.”
“Cole, do you feel anything for me?" I don't know what made me ask this, except that Jack had asked him the night of the Tunnels. It obviously surprised him.He backed up. "What?"I inched forward, not quite sure I was going with this. "Do you feel...something for me?"He was quiet, still as a statue, so I moved even closer. "Don't, Nik." His gaze dropped to the ground."If you feel anything, please leave me alone. I don't know why I survived. I don't have your answer. Shadowing me will get you nothing."Then he did something unexpected. He backed down, and as he turned around to his motorcycle, he shook his head and mumbled, "What have you done to me?""I don't know," I said. "But you have ninety-nine years to figure it out."He kicked it on and revved the engine, and at the sound, he found his cocky smirk again. "That's a long time, Nik. Jack is gone, and I'm here. Let's see who gives up first.”