“Parents give birth to a dude. Dude grows up, becomes a vampire. Parents assign me to kill him by burying him in his dreams. Happens to me all the time.”

“Dude you scare me sometimes! You're all vampire superwoman”

“The worst was relizing that I’d lost him for nothing because he’d been rght about all of it-- vampires, my parents, everything.He’d told me my parents lied. I yelled at him for it. He forgave me. He told me vampires were killers. I told him they weren’t, even after one stalked Raquel. He told me Charity was dangerous. I didn’t listen, and she killed Courtney. He told me vampires were treacherous, and did I get the message? Not until my illusions had been destroyed by my parents’ confession.”

“The Dude just pounded his way in a straight line, convinced that the lion was a figment of his imagination and that the vampire ahead of him was just Grendel's deformed mutant brother.”

“Kill me if I ever look that Bad" . . . "Dude, what are you saying? . . . On the TV? That is you, dude. From like five years ago.”

“It a dude and a girl, and the house and wooo scary things happen and then they kill everything.”