“Cool people are only cool for the first thirty minutes of knowing them. After that, they just become annoying.”

“Some people make things happen. Some people watch things happen. And then there are those who wonder, 'What the hell just happened?”

“I don't like to give up on people when they need someone not to give up on them.”

“I never fail. It's just that the people around me succeed more than I.”

“When it comes to being famous, you’re usually the last to know, and the first to deny it. Unless you were already famous in your head. In which case, party on, Wayne! Party on, Garth!”

“The moment you stop trying to become a better person, is the moment you start to become worse than what you already are.”

“You know," Kavita begins, "I think I can pick out my own furniture. I am an artist after all. I do have some taste.""No you don't." Nick plainly states. "No man has taste. Besides, I didn't pick it out, she did. Wives are good for things like that.”