“Not really, but after that I think about how I could kill him while he slept if I really wanted to, and then I feel better.”

“So you don't ever get angry at him?"Jem laughed out loud. "I would hardly say that. Sometimes I want to strangle him.""How on earth do you prevent yourself?""I go to my favorite place in London," said Jem, "and I stand and look at the water, and I think about the continuity of life, and how the river rolls on, oblivious of the petty upsets in our lives."Tessa was fascinated. "Does that work?""Not really, but after that I think about how I could kill him while he slept if I really wanted to, and then I feel better.”

“Maybe he didn’t really encourage me to do things, but he didn’t prevent me from doing them either. But after a while, I didn’t do things because I didn’t want him to think different about me. But the thing is, I wasn’t being honest. So, why would I care whether or not he loved me when he didn’t really even know me?”

“All I could really think was how much I wanted to sleep. How much I wanted to be in a different world other than the one I was in.”

“I really did not feel okay about any of this, and there was really nothing I could do about any of it.”

“But what I wanted back had never really been there. He was a temporary illusion, a mirage of water after walking in the desert. I had made him up. And he could have killed me. You've got to stop the ride sometimes. Stop it and get off.”