“I can’t even think about what life “couldhave been” like in Boston, without crying. It’s like deja-vu, I don’t think meand Boston were ever meant to be.”

“I love it here in Boston and I love studying medicine. Butit’s not home. Dublin is home. Being back with you felt like home. I miss mybest friend.I’ve met some great guys here, but I didn’t grow up with any of themplaying cops and robbers in my back garden. I don’t feel like they are realfriends. I haven’t kicked them in the shins, stayed up all night on Santawatch with them, hung from trees pretending to be monkeys, played hotel,or laughed my heart out as their stomachs were pumped. It’s kind of hard tobeat that.”

“It’s hard for everyone isn’t it? Anyone who says it’s easy is a liar. There’sthis huge divide between me and Alex right now because I feel like we’re livingin such different worlds, I don’t know what to talk about with him anymore.And we used to be able to talk all night. He phones once a week and Ilisten to what he’s been up to during the week and try to bite my tongueevery time I go into another Katie story. Truth is I have nothing other to talkabout but her and I know it bores people. I think I used to be interestingonce upon a time.”

“I generally don’t become overexcited about things anyway, I’m just not one of those people. I’m not easily surprised by things either. I think it’s because I expect that anything can happen”

“Once again, I don’t quite know where I’m headed Steph. It seems thatevery few years I’m shoveling up the pieces of my life and starting fromscratch all over. No matter what I do or how hard I try I can’t seem to reachthe dizzy heights of happiness, success, and security, like so many people do.And I’m not talking about becoming a millionaire and living happily everafter. I just mean reaching a point in my life that I can stop what I’m doing,take a look around me, breathe a sigh of relief, and think “I’m where I wantto be now.”

“He was one of those people who made you feel like they either didn't know or didn't care that you were in the room and if they ever did acknowledge your existence it was bizarrely score one to you, and twenty years later they'd tell you they'd always had a crush on you but never had the courage to say anything and you'd tell them, What? I didn't even think you liked me? and they'd say, Are you crazy? I just never knew what to say!”

“I know that. I just don’t feel it sometimes. Over there I felt like Ihadn’t a care in the world. Things felt so good and it was almost asif every muscle in my body relaxed the moment I landed there. Ihaven’t laughed so much in years. I felt like a 23-year-old, Steph. Ihaven’t felt like that much lately. I know this probably sounds weirdbut I felt like the me that I could have been.I liked that I didn’t have to look out for somebody else while Iwalked down the street. I didn’t have the fifty near heart attacks perday that I usually get when Katie goes missing or puts something inher mouth that she shouldn’t. I didn’t have to dive onto the roadand hold her back just in time from being hit by a car. I liked that Ididn’t have to give out, correct people on their pronunciation ormake threats. I liked laughing at a joke without my sleeve beingtugged at and being asked to explain. I liked having adult conversationswithout being interrupted to cheer and applaud a silly danceor the learning of a new word. I liked that I was just me, Rosie, notmummy, thinking just about me, talking about things I liked, goingplaces I liked to go without having to worry about nappy changes,bottle feeding or sleepy-head tantrums. Isn’t that awful?”