“Wet towel under the door,' said Barry. 'It's what you do when you're smoking weed in a hotel and you don't want everyone calling security. You're always supposed to have a towel. I read about it in a guide for hitchhiking through the galaxy.”

“You're the one with almost an MBA," Barry, the short balding one, said to Lash."You should know what to do.""They don't cover what to do with a dead hooker," Lash countered. "That's a wholedifferent program. Political science, I think.”

“It's kinda hard to get yourself into a good three-toweler when you got the dick of death.”

“If you like what you're reading, I probably wrote it.”

“The problem with being nuts, she thought, is that you don't always feel as if you're nuts. Sometimes, in fact, you feel perfectly sane, and there just happens to be a trailer-shaped dragon crouching in the lot next door.”

“[Acknowledgments] I recommend them all for further reading, but when you're finished, you may have to read several of my books and watch a lot of TV just to get stupid enough to function in the modern world again.”

“Stop," I said. "Please do not further endorken yourself to me. You have great hair and a car that is most fly, and you have just saved me with your mad ninja driving skills, so do not sully your heroic hottie image in my mind by further reciting your nerdy scholastic agenda. Don't tell me what you're studying, Steve, tell me what's in your soul. What haunts you?"And he was like, "Dude, you need to cut back on the caffeine.”