“Time to go,” he says. “I already see this heading somewhere I’m too drunk to go right now. I’ll see you tomorrow night.” I jump up and run and block the window before he can leave. He stops in front of me and folds his arms over his chest. “Stay,” I say. “Please. Just lay in bed with me. We can put pillows between us and I promise not to seduce you since you’re drunk. Just stay for an hour, I don’t want you to go yet.” He immediately turns and heads back to the bed. “Okay,” he says simply. He throws himself onto my bed and pulls the covers out from beneath him. That was easy.”

“But then he whispers, "It will be okay, Mary." He pulls my head down to his chest and he wraps both his arms around me and all I can think is why can't life just stop here and now and leave us be in this moment.”

“I’d ask you to hang out with us, but you’re not supposed to see me this way.’…‘What way?’ I ask. ‘Drunk?’‘Yeah…well, no.’ His voice softens. ‘Real, I guess.’‘I’ll pretend I didn’t.’‘Nice of you.’ He puts his lips next to my ear and says, ‘You look good, Tris.’…I laugh. ‘Do me a favor and stay away from the chasm, okay?’‘Of course.’ He winks at me.”

“I almost jumped when the door opened. Alex came back inside, wearing black sweatpants; I swallowed as I saw his chest bare. "Forgot my T-shirt," he said sheepishly. His bag was on the floor near the bed, and I watched the lantern light play on his skin as he crossed to it. Squatting by the bag, he pulled out a T-shirt; I sat frozen, taking in the movement of his back and shoulders.I stood up, my heart hammering. "Wait. Can I just...?" I trailed off as he turned to look at me."What?" he said, rising to his feet.An embarrassed laugh escaped me. I shook my head. "Just--before you put that on, can I...?" In slow motion, I went over to him. I reached out toward his chest and then stopped, my fingers hesitating an inch from his skin. "Is--this all right?"Alex stood very still, a soft smile on his face. "Anything you want is all right.”

“I’m sorry,” he tells me.I sit down on the bed. He returns to the view of the street below. I follow his gaze and I see the infected walking slowly back and forth.“It’s okay,” I say.“Okay,” he says. He nods. “Good.”He puts the gun under his chin and pulls the trigger.”

“We’re both drunk,”“This isn’t right,” he said.“I want you.”“I need you to say it,” he said.“I’ll say whatever you want.”“Then say that you belong to me. Say that you’ll take me back. I won’t do this unless we’re together.”“We’ve never really been apart, have we?” “I need to hear you say it. I need to know you’re mine.”“I’ve been yours since the second we met.”“Say it again,”he said.“I’m yours,” I breathed. Every nerve, inside and out ached for more. “I don’t ever want to be apart from you again.”“Promise me,”“I love you. I’ll love you forever.”