“I don't think wood was discovered in Britain until the 1970's. That's when I discovered it anyway.”

“It 's the time of year when Canadians mate.”

“When you need to borrow money the Mob seems like a better deal I think. 'You don't pay me back I break both yer legs.' Is that all? You won't take my house or wreck my credit rating? Fine where do I sign. Legs? Fine. You don't even have to sign anything. ”

“I don't just like sexual double entendres I love them, I stroke them, I milk them, I spank them when they're naughty.”

“That's why I believe in a Constitution which separates church from state. I've seen what happens when they get in cahoots.”

“He will know from and early age that failure is not disgrace. It's just a pitch that you missed, and you'd better get ready for the next one. The next one might be the shot heard round the world. My son and I are Americans, we prepare for glory by failing until we don't.”

“I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to the supporting player in the movie of someone else's.”