“I was never really certain why he scared the bejesus out of me. Nothing scared me growing up. I’ve been playing with dead people since the day I was born, so it’s good thing, yet the Big Bad scared me. Which brings me to the reason I called.” “Which was to give me nightmares for the rest of my life?” “Oh, no, that’s just a plus. Why was I so scared of him?” “Hon, for one thing he was this powerful, massive, black smokelike being.”“So, you’re saying I’m a racist?”

“Oh, and she told me that men want only one thing. And on that note, I must give praise and thanks to the powers that be. I don't want much else from them either.”

“She looked at me, confused. “He hardly knew me. My parents dated and got married before we knew what happened. Let’s just say we were notbrought into the loop on that decision.”“That’s weird. I wasn’t brought into the loop with my parents’ marriage either.”“Really? How old were you?”“Twelve months.”She giggled. “I can’t imagine why they didn’t ask your opinion.”

“A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he handcuffed me. I've never been the same.”

“It's just that the last thing Adam ever said to me.......I remember it all so clear....'Can you go with me, Jordy? I'm not so scared when you're with me.' And then they wouldn't even let me be with him when he......when he....... He was so scared, Mama. I wasn't there.”

“He took a long draw then asked, “What’d I do?”“You knew about the guy threatening my dad?”He paused, shifted in his chair, so freaking busted, it wasn’t funny. “They told you?”“Why, no, Swopes, they didn’t. Instead, they waited until the guy knocked the fuck out of my dad and readied him for spaceflight with duct tape then tried to kill me with a butcher’s knife.”

“I think you need to water your plants," Garrett [Swopes, PI]called out to me [Charley Davidson, Grim Reaper and PI]."Oh, they're fake." He was looking at the plants I had along my windowsill. Either that or my mold problem was getting out of hand. After a long pause I heard, "Those are fake?""Yeah, I had to make them look real. A little spray paint, a little lighter fluid, and voila! Fake dying plants.""Why would you want fake dying plants?" he asked."Because if they were all thick and healthy-looking, anyone who knows me would realise they were fake.""Yeah, but is that really the point?""Duh.”