“When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. ”

“Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.”

“The bad news was that the yard contained a dog. A very, very large dog, wide and hairy, like a cross between a rottweiler and a Goodyear blimp.”

“I like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a moral person, but I'm definitely not religious, and I'm very tired of the preachiness and obsession with other people's behavior characteristic of many religious people in the United States. As far as I could tell, there's nothing preachy about Buddhism. I was in a lot of temples, and I still don't know what Buddhists believe, except that at one point Kunio said 'If you do bad things, you will be reborn as an ox.'This makes as much sense to me as anything I ever heard from, for example, the Reverend Pat Robertson.”

“Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent. ”

“Why don’t you lift the end?” said Alf.“It’s me back, Alf,” complained Mack. “You know how it troubles me.”“No more than mine troubles me,” said Alf.“But I said it first,” said Mack.”

“Leonard Aster thanked Fighting Prawn and the Mollusk tribe for their hospitality.“You mean,” said Fighting Prawn, “for not killing you?”“Yes,” said Leonard. “It was very gracious of you.”“Do you,” said Leonard, “I mean, does you tribe, shake hands?”“No,” said Fighting Prawn. “We kiss on the lips.”“Oh,” said Leonard, looking very alarmed.”