“I was discovering a hard truth: There’s no way to catch up on sleep. When it’s gone, it’s gone, and the best you can hope for is to have better luck next time.”

“Did you know that you deserve much, much more than a guy like Javier?” I asked. “Did you know that even if I did know I deserve more than that, it still haunts me that I can’t at least have it?”

“Being in darkness and confusion is interesting to me. But behind it you can rise out of that and see things the way the really are. That there is some sort of truth to the whole thing, if you could just get to that point where you could see it, and live it, and feel it … I think it is a long, long, way off. In the meantime there’s suffering and darkness and confusion and absurdities, and it’s people kind of going in circles. It’s fantastic. It’s like a strange carnival: it’s a lot of fun, but it’s a lot of pain.”

“It’s amazing how fast you can run when there’s a f**king rottweiler chasing you.”

“In my kind of falling, there’s no landing. There’s only hitting the ground. Hard. Dead, or wanting to be dead. So the whole time you’re falling, it’s the worst feeling in the world. Because you feel you have no control over it. Because you know how it ends.”

“i have no idea what truth has to do with love, and vice versa. i’m not even thinking in terms of love here. it’s way, way, way early for that. but i guess i am thinking in terms of truth. i want this to be truthful. and even as i protest to tiny and i protest to myself, the truth is becoming increasingly clear. it’s time for us to figure out how the hell this is ever going to work.”

“I woke up and knew he was gone. Straightaway I knew he was gone. When you love somebody you know these things.”