“When I want to be reminded of stupidity, especially my own, I turn on the TV.”

“I expect the audience to assume TV is stupid. I accept that it's my job to overcome it.”

“The truth is, I don't want to be disappointed again. Not by someone else's shortcomings, and especially not by my own.”

“I wanted to end it now, like a bad TV show turned off in the middle.”

“I hate that word boobs. I wish people wouldn't say it, especially girls. It's like calling your own body stupid.”

“The whole experience reminded me of my own 'old lady' phase that I went through in high school while I was reading Somerset Maugham... The embroidered sweaters, the costume jewelry... I remember genuinely WANTING to be old then, to act as if the business of my life was already all but over, and that I was preternaturally wise because of it...God, the stupid things you'll do to try and meet boys...”