“Ballycumber (ba-li-KUM-ber) n. One of the six half-read books lying somewhere in your bed.”

“Beppu (n.)The triumphant slamming shut of a book after reading the final page.”

“The room was much as he had left it, festeringly untidy, though the effect was muted a little by a thick layer of dust. Half-read books and magazines nestled among piles of half-used towels. Half-pairs of socks reclined in half-drunk cups of coffee. What once had been a half-eaten sandwich had now half-turned into something that Arthur didn’t entirely want to know about. Bung a fork of lightning through this lot, he thought to himself, and you’d start the evolution of life off all over again.”

“No one with a thirst for knowledge goes to the university now. Half of the faculty has resigned, the other half gives courses in advanced ignorance”

“Alltami (n.)The ancient art of being able to balance the hot and cold shower taps.”

“Aberystwyth (n.)A nostalgic yearning which is in itself more pleasant than the thing being yearned for.”

“Rule Six: The winning team shall be the first team that wins.”