“From the moment of my birth, the angels of anxiety, worry, and death stood at my side, followed me out when I played, followed me in the sun of springtime and in the glories of summer. They stood at my side in the evening when I closed my eyes, and intimidated me with death, hell, and eternal damnation. And I would often wake up at night and stare widely into the room: Am I in Hell?”

“I stood there and stared, into the sky and at the city around me. I stood, hands at my side, and I saw what had happened to me and who I was and the way things would always be for me. Truth. There was no more wishing, or wondering. I knew who I was, and what I would always do. I believed it, as my teeth touched and my eyes were overrun.”

“I keep such music in my brain No din this side of death can quell; Glory exulting over pain, And beauty, garlanded in hell.”

“And everyone saw me. Tobias saw me.I hear footsteps. Tobias marches toward me and wrenches me to my feet."What the hell was that, Stiff?""I..." My breath comes in a hiccup. "I didn't-""Get yourself together! This is pathetic."Something within me snaps. My tears stop. Heat races through my body, driving the weakness out of me, and I smack him so hard my knuckles burn with the impact. He stares at me, one side of his face bright with blush-blood, and I stare back."Shut up," I say. I yank my arm from his grasp and walk out of the room.”

“But why is it that within me "I don't want to" and "I want to" stand side by side? That is the chief horror of the matter; I continue to long for that happy death of yesterday. The horror of it is that even now, when I have integrated the logical function, when it becomes evident that that function contains death hidden within it, still I long for it with my lips, my arms, my heart, with every millimeter....”

“Lead me, follow me, or get the hell out of my way.”