“You better be careful, I've got a ladle. You never know what a trained killer can do with an innocent-looking kitchen utensil.I don't think you're a trained killer.So should I be insulted that you think I'm an amateur killer?”

“It's hard to use the English language. I'd rather play a tune on a horn, but I've always felt that I didn't want to train myself. Because when you get a train, you've got to have an engine and a caboose. I think it's better to train the caboose. You train yourself, you strain yourself.”

“I don't think you should ever insult people unintentionally: if you're doing it, you ought to mean it.”

“You're not going to tell me they built fifty-foot-high killer golems, are you?""Only a man would think of that.It's our job," said Moist. "If you don't think of fifty-foot-high killer golems first, someone else will.”

“I'm investigating people who sacrifice trained killers to dark gods.Perfect, it will keep him occupied.In what capacity?Bait.”

“I think I know who you are," he finally said. "It took me a minute, since you're better looking than I thought you'd be, but I think I've got it.”