“And stop calling people gay. I don't even know why that's an insult. There are real gay people in the world, you know, and there's nothing wrong with them. Calling someone gay, like it's a bad thing, is like calling someone a dentist--it doesn't make any freaking sense!”

“In the end, I had to call myself a faggot, which really annoyed me, because 1. I don't think that word should ever be used by anyone, let alone me, and 2. As it happens, I am not gay, and furthermore, 3. Chuck Parson made it out like calling yourself a faggot was the ultimate humiliation, even though there's nothing at all embarrassing about being gay.”

“For me, my discomfort with gay weddings was articulated by a close friend, who observed that gay people getting married is like retarded people getting together to give each other PhDs. It doesn't make them smarter, and it doesn't make us married.”

“Lots of people hate gay people.You can tell who they are because they start sentences with, "It's not like I hate gay people.”

“It's too bad you're not gay. Then again, if you were gay, I would never date you. You're a mess."You know, Patrick? If I were gay, I'd want to date you."Of course.”

“Gay people should be allowed to get married. Just because somebody's gay doesn't mean he shouldn't suffer like the rest of us”