“We made sure you got the cute, gay doctor,” Lonny said, smiling at the man, shamelessly flirting.”

“Jackie had now changed her tune, clinging to me as if she liked it. “I’m irresistible, brother, he’s swapping sides for me.”“I can’t fight it any longer,” I said, nonchalantly.Wade shook his head at us. “I’ll be sure to pass this news along to your husband, sis.”“He can have the kids,” Jackie said, causing everyone to chuckle.“We insist,” I tossed in.”

“...she's just an Italian momma. She worries alot." "Dude, whenever she knew you had a date, she'd callduring the day while you were at work, leaving you those disturbing messages—reading off detailed descriptions of what Jeffrey Dahmer did to his victims.""She actually still does that." Gabe cringed, looking over at me. "She only wants me to be safe. The whole gay thing wasn't easy for her.""Boo hoo," I said, "You're queer, not cancerous. She's had plenty of time to get the hell over it.”

“I'd purchased it before my trip to the gay rodeo with a bunch of friends many moons ago. Many horses had been saved that weekend as many cowboys had been ridden." ...”

“I guess we should get to it.” Wade said, reaching down to pick up my skis. Yes please, my evil side thought, before being whacked over the head with a sledge hammer by my inner angel.”

“Don’t do it gurl,” he said with a wink. “You need to pretend like that phone is your best friend’s husband’s dick now drop it.”

“I snatched up the cardboard cup, plastered my lips to the plastic sippy-lid and sucked down a scalding hot mouthful. It burned, but I didn’t give a damn. I held the cup to my chest as if it were my most special friend while feeling the instant affect the coffee had on my mood and I smiled. “Hello lover.”