“I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me.”

“Televisio is a vehicle that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.”

“The last time I saw him he was walking down Lover's Lane holding his own hand. ”

“a group of people who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done”

“A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.”

“I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.”

“A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.”