“Jessica: 'This is a chick flick. You're either trying too hard or gay.'Wade: 'One: I was brought up to be polite. That means to think of the other person first. I thought you would enjoy this movie. Two: Most of the other movies are abou tkillings, bombings, explosions, resulting fires, and have big body counts before the opening credits are run. I don't like those movies. If that makes me a girl, okay. Three: I do like movies about sports. Of any kind. I think that makes me less of a girl. But none are playing tonight. Four: The woman in this movie is hot. Let's cross gay off your list. Five: I gave up trying too hard awhile back. Didn't work for me.”

“Personally, I like to think my brother is having a college experience like they do in the movies. I don't mean the big fraternity party kind of movie. More like the movie where the guy meets a smart girl who wears a lot of sweaters and drinks cocoa. They talk about books and issues and kiss in the rain. I think something like that would be very good for him, especially if the girl were unconventionally beautiful. They are the best kind of girls, I think. I personally find 'super models' strange. I don't know why this is.”

“Still, these days when I daydream about the movie, I don't think about the big picture. It's more fun for me to think of little things that would add to the movie. I like to think the powers that be would let me amuse myself with some small things in order to shut me up while they re-write the screenplay to turn Kvothe into a lesbian, shape-changing unicorn.”

“People always ask me if I hate the nuns. Do I make my movies extra dirty to piss them off? I always say no, that's not the point. To a Catholic, a movie is only dirty if it makes you want to have sex more. If it makes you feel sick, disgusted, ashamed of your own body, then it's not a dirty movie at all. It's a Catholic movie. And I make very Catholic movies.”

“I'm thinking about the top five all-time greatest movie kisses. I can't believe I haven't made that list. And I'm thinking about a screenplay I want to write. I have a hunch it'll be the first good movie I've ever written. This one will be about a girl.I don't know how I ever tried to write my story without her.”

“Shouldn't he at least be waiting to see if it works with you or not before he dates the next guy?""It doesn't work like that.""I think it should," she told me."This isn't a Disney movie," Michael told her.She smacked him hard. "I know all about how gay men hook up. My Aunt Susan has Queer As Folk on DVD.”