“An essay is like a bikini...”
“Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.”
“The essay I had to read was called, "An Essay on Criticism" by Alexander Pope.The first challenge was that the essay was, in fact, a very long poem in "heroic couplets". If something is called an essay, it should be an essay.”
“Sometimes Carrot sounded like a civics essay written by a stunned choirboy.”
“A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded gun on your coffee table- There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about.”
“To get the most attention, the essay should be wrong. Logical essays are read and understood. But an illogical or wrong essay will prompt dozens of other writers to rise and respond, thus giving the author mounds of publicity.”