“And now, in the interest of equal time, here is a message from the National Institute of Pancakes: It reads, and I quote, "Fuck waffles.”

“I haven't got time to look for an interesting quote - I'm too busy reading and writing!”

“If love melted like a statue made of butter, would you consider me a pancake or a waffle?”

“To steal from a brother or sister is evil. To not steal from the institutions that are the pillars of the Pig Empire is equally immoral.”

“What is the sound of one hand clapping? What is the weight of a single grain of sand? The answer is equal to my interest in the message you are about to leave so make it short. -- Mitch Hertzog's voice mail message.”

“This quote – Tess says it to her mother after Alec D’Urberville has had his wicked way with her.”“I know,” muses Kate. “What is he trying to say?”“I don’t know, and I don’t care. I can’t accept these from him. I’ll send them back with an equally baffling quote from some obscure part of the book.”“The bit where Angel Clare says fuck off?” Kate asks with a completely straight face.“Yes, that bit.”