“What colour was her scythe?""Sadly, I wasn't able to take the time to appreciate its subtle hues as it tore through my skin.”

“What?" he asked."Nothing. Your bony hands of death amuse me, that's all.""Wait until yours look the same," he said, preparing to scythe."Wait - what?" She batted the sapphire blade out of his hands. "What do you mean? Is that why everyone around here has such creepy fingers?""Yeah." He bent down to pick up his scythe. "I don't know why it happens, though. Probably the same weird reason our hair goes all wonky.""What?" she barked, knocking his scythe to the ground once more."Stop that!""What happens to our hair?"He gestured to the disaster atop his head. "You think I want to look like a drunken hedgehog all the time? It's from hanging out in the ether so much. It messes with your follicles or something. Doesn't happen to everyone, but I can assure you that Ferbus's wasn't always the color of a prison jumpsuit, Zara wasn't born Silvylocks, and Mort's been rocking the electrocution look for years. Look, yours has gotten straighter already."Lex ran a hand through her hair. It had lost some of its poofyness. There had been so many other circuses of insanity to deal with that she hadn't even noticed. It was calm, manageable, even - she shuddered to think it - sleek and shiny."Oh my God," she said in disgust. "I'm a shampoo commercial.”

“What about a warning system?" Heloise said."The entire encounter lasted less than five seconds, Hel. I doubt that even with your admirable ability to sprint in heels, you would have been able to get there in time.”

“A crash of cymbals exploded in her ear. She opened her eyes to behold Driggs clanging them vigorously, a mischievous grin on his face and a large bruise surrounding his eye."I hope, for the sake of your fertility, you're wearing a cup," she warned through clenched teeth.""Come on," he said, jumping onto to the mattress. "It's time for work."Lex moaned. "How are you so awake already?""If you recall, I eat a lot of chocolate.”

“Let me go!" She tore off a mirror and brandished it in his face. "I mean it! I don't want to go to your godforsaken hellbarn, you retarded psycho farmer!”

“And speaking of Terms, we need to set a few ground rules here with...this," he said, clearing his throat and gesturing at the two of them."With what?" Lex said."That," Uncle Mort replied, pointing to a suspicious-looking mark on her neck.Lex's hand flew to her throat while Driggs shifted, uneasy. "Why?" he asked."Don't 'why?' me, Romeo. You know I trust you, but Lex is still my niece. In the absence of her father, it's up to me to do everything in my power to complicate and interfere with her budding love life."Lex frowned. "Hey-”

“After a minute or so, Lex pushed him away. "Stop.""Why?" He looked horrified. "What's wrong?""Nothing-""Was it that thing I did with my tongue?""Um, no. Your tongue and its many talents are perfect. Keep up the good work." She reached into her pocket and pulled out a crumpled-up scrap of paper.”