“I didn't want to do it,' Kiala said. 'The universe just kind of conspired to force me to make a fool of myself. It does that quite a lot, actually.”

“We played for about half an hour before I realized we were actually playing two different games. What I’d thought of as ludo was actually a game called gin rummy, and what Warren was playing seemed to be a mixture of craps and table tennis. Once we started playing by one consistent set of rules, though, the fun was really over.”

“I shouted the perfect words to scare him off. It was just the delivery (and only the delivery) that made me sound like a twelve-year-old girl with pee running down her leg. I felt dirty and stupid.”

“Just before I look under my bed, I always get a little cold feeling, as if part of me expects to find something staring back at me.I've probably seen too many Hollywood movies to have any hopes of ever cultivating a healthy relationship with the underside of my bed.”

“My Zombie apocalypse plan is simple but effective; I fully intend to die in the very first wave.Seems more logical than undergoing all kinds of hardships only to die eventually anyway (through bites/malnutrition/or terminally chapped lips)”

“Mathematicians finally developed a financial model to accurately compare apples and oranges. Any two kinds of fruit can be compared, although guavas still cause minor rounding errors.”

“I'm looking into my past lives. I'm convinced some of them still owe me money.”