“If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.”

“Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.”

“Groucho: You know I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world?Woman: Really?Groucho: No, but I don't mind lying if it gets me somewhere.”

“Hello, I must be going.”

“Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay,I came to say, I must be going.I’m glad I came, but just the same,I must be going.”

“John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight...”

“And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!”