“Words are weapons...use them wisely.”

“You’ve got a good side?”“I do. I just don’t use it too often. My bad side’s so much more fun.”

“There's much we can all do for men, including helping them feel wanted without their having to do anything life threatening. Perhaps women always knew this instinctively, which is why we tend to flatter our men and laugh at all their jokes, letting them think they're funnier than women.”

“When you're with a man, no one tells you he's a creep; they don't like to; they think, well, that's her choice, perhaps ours isn't up to much either; how will we ever be sure, in this polite world? In other words, as we all know, one woman's creep is another's true love, and just as well.”

“I would do anything for Rachel and if she wants an Edward, that’s what I’ll be.”

“That is a fart without wind....." in reference to when you can't back up what you say. very funny.”

“The worst thing you could ever ask is "What could possibly go wrong?”