“Listen, you," she hissed. "He's gay, he's my son, and I'm premenstrual. So don't—and I mean don't—even think about it." ~ Mom”

“You don't have to call me back," he said. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm so fucking proud of you. Sweet dreams." ~ Peter”

“Look, if I were straight, you'd be grandparents before your time. You should be relieved that I'm gay. Aren't you grateful?”

“I never thought that gay boys would be so dramatic about romance. And sooooo in denial. You wouldn't recognize common sense if it came up to you, bit you in the ass, and called you Sally. ~ Althea”

“I know what you mean. I usually take it out on my older sister. You can lease her for a weekend or something if you need a psychological punching bag. I'll even give you a discount.”

“Can I have money for a chocolate parfait at least? Or evenan iced mocha? Considering the heat and what I'm wearingright now—and considering that I'm about to get pummeledfor your sake—I think I should be allowed somecompensation. You should've seen that in the SupervillainHandbook in the 'Sidekicks: Who are They, and How are TheyCared For?' chapter.”

“I hated meatloaf. It was like something that Satan pooped out after an eternity of constipation. So I told Mom because I was honest that way. I sat back, squared my shoulders, and met her eyes, all confident-like."Mom, meatloaf's like something that Satan pooped out after an eternity of constipation. It should be outlawed, frankly, and serving it for dinner is like child abuse and should carry with it some pretty stiff penalties.”