“For nine months I grew a human being inside my belly and then I pushed it out my vagina and now I'm feeding it with my boob. Biology is so fucking weird.”

“And Lord did I push, for thee more hoursI pushed, I pushed so hard I shat, Pushed so hard blood vessels burstin my neck and in my chest, pushed so hard my asshole turned inside-out like a rosebud.”

“Did Gran go to a gynecologist? That is totally weird. I never thought about my grandmother's vagina before. I don't want to be thinking about my grandmother's vagina. Not here, at her funeral. In a church. While i'm doing a reading from the Bible.”

“I was nine minutes late for my last birthday party. And I was nine months on time for my first birthday.”

“Hi, my name is Kurt Cobain, I'm homosexual, I'm a pagan, I'm a drug abuser, and I like to fuck pot-bellied pigs!”

“The Germans will be beaten in a few months. And Japan will be beaten a few months after that. If I were to give up my life now, it wouldn't be for my country. It would be for Cathcart and Korn. So I'm turning my bombsight in for the duration. From now on I'm thinking only of me.”