“Well, Nicole, I was planning on taking her to bed and using her in ways that aren’t even mentioned in the Kama Sutra, but now you’ve told me that, I think I should go take a cold shower instead.”

“Take the Kama Sutra. How many people died from the Kama Sutra as opposed to the Bible? Who wins?”

“So you're saying that after I take a disappointing shower I should get in bed and lay there and weep?”

“Thanks,” I said, “have a great day.” And I turned to leave. Damn! I am such a coward. Next time I’ll get her number, I told myself, even though I said the exact same thing sixty-some dollars ago. I needed a plan. I needed an event to take her to. What did I think I was going to do, ask her out to coffee?”

“If you’re going to need me, even if it’s just to yell at, I’m going to stay right here.”“No, I want to take a shower. I’m not about to if you stay out there.”“Excuse me, but-huh? Then there will be two doors between you and me.”Some of the blood stayed in my cheeks as I found myself spluttering, “But you’ll know I’m taking a shower!”“You just told me you were going to!”

“But once I'd come up with it, I realized it really was the perfect plan. Instead of waiting for Maria to come to me, I was simply going to go to her and, well...Send her back to where she came.Or reduce her to a mound of quivering gelatinous goo. Whichever came first.”