“Mom says it's good luck if a ladybug lands on you. But club members do not think that is scientifically accurate.”

“Wow," I heard Mom say, and I turned to her with a smile."Good luck explaining to God that you used to spank one of his heavenly beings."Mom gave a startled laugh. "Sophie!""What? You did.I hope you like hot weather, Mom, that's all I'm saying.”

“There is a club in this world that you do not join knowingly.One day you are just a member.It is “The life changing events club.”The fee to join the club is hurt beyond belief, payable in full, up front for a lifetime membership.The benefit of the club is a new found perspective on life, and a deep understanding that you may not be happy about your current situation, but you can be happy in your current situation.The only rule to the club is that you cannot tell anyone that you are a member.The club does not provide a directory of its members, but when you look into a member’s eye, you can tell that they too are part of the club. Members are allowed to exchange that brief eye contact that says: “I didn’t know.”Being a member of this club is the last thing that anyone initially wants in their life.Being a member of this club is the best thing that ever happens to a person in their life, and there is not a person in the club that would ever give up their membership.If you really look and know what you are looking for you can spot the clubs members; they are the ones that provide a random act of kindness and do something for someone who can never repay them for what they have done. They are the people spreading joy and optimism and lifting people’s spirits even when their own heart has been broken.I have paid my dues; my lifetime membership arrived today, not by mail, but by a deep inner feeling that I cannot describe.It is the best club that I never wanted to be part of. But I am glad that I am a member.”

“Good luck explaining to God that you used to spank one of his heavenly beings."Mom gave a startled laugh. "Sophie!""What? You did. I hope you like hot weather, Mom, that's all I'm saying.”

“you know, how people say it's good luck if a bird shits on you? and people believe it! i just want to grab them and say, 'dude, don't you realize this whole superstition was made up because no one could think of anything else good to say to a person who'd just been shit upon?”

“This club is for members only. But once you join, membership lasts for an eternity.”