“It wasn't my fault.”

“Opening my door to Dillon Ruddick, my bulding super. I handed him a cup of coffee. "Sorry about the blood." "What was it this time?" No one reported gunfire.""I hit a guy in the face with a hair dryer.""Whoa." Dillon said."It wasn't my fault," I told him."Maybe we should lay down some linoleum here. It would make things easier for clean up.”

“The note wasn't signed, but I could tell it was from Morelli by the way my nipples got hard.”

“My mother drove back to the intersection. "Who are you dating?" "Don't ask," I said. I wasn't dating anyone. I was fornicating with Batman.”

“I wasn't dating anyone. I was fornicating with Batman.”

“My grandmother is a little Cuban woman who cooks all day and speaks Spanish. Your grandmother watches pay-per-view porn.""She used to watch the Weather Channel, but she said there wasn't enough action."-Ranger and Stephanie”

“If she wasn't your grandmother I'd shoot her."Ranger”