“You know what your problem is? You got too many scruples. One or two is okay, but you get too many of them, and it clogs everything up."What she said made no sense at all, but was probably right."I got some scruples," Lula said, "but I know when to stop. There's a point where you have to say enough is enough and screw scruples.”

“You know what this is?" Lula said. "This here's plane rage."Plane rage isn't allowed. It got taken off the allowed activities list along with eating. If you make a scene they'll hual you off in leg irons." Stephanie said.I'm tired of being stapped in here, too," Lula said. "This seat belt's too tight and it's giving me gas."Anything else?"There's no movie.”

“What's with the super soaker?" -Stephine"I had a stork of genius when you called me this morning I said what do I have to do to protect myself from the vampire? And the answer that came to me was holy water! I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner." -Lula"You have the Super Soaker filled with holy water?" -Stephine"Yeah I sucked it out of the church. You know that birdbath thing they got right up front?" -Lula"THe baptismal font?" -Stephine"That's it. They got it filled with holy water, free for the taking." -Lula"Brilliant." -Stephine”

“He's hot, Lula said, but he's a pig. All men are pigs.Do you really believe that?No but it's a point of view to keep in mind . You don't want to go around thinkin' shit is your fault. Next thing you know, they got you makin' pot roast ad you're cutting up your mastercard.”

“Amen" Lula said and she made the sign of the cross. "I thought you were Baptist.""Yeah, but we don't got any hand signals for an occasion like this.”

“You know, sometimes you can be real scary. I don't what you were thinking back there when you took those shoes off, but all hair stood up on the back of my next."I had airport rage." Fuckin' A," Lula said.”

“Ranger sent us to check on you," Hal said. "We just got here, and we heard shots." "Some moron ate my jelly doughnut," Lula said. "So I shot him.”