“99% of the population is afraid of public speaking, and of the remaining 1%, 99% of them have nothing original and interesting to say.”

“What does it matter if you can speak two or more languages if you have nothing original to say in any language?”

“A one dollar bill, though it weighs less than 99 pennies, is psychologically heavier.”

“Would you agree with the statement: Love is a hamburger? If yes, would you like to add cheese for only 99 cents?”

“She’s the kind of woman I could see myself spending the rest of my life with—after I turn 99.”

“Sometimes when I read before bed I get so tired that my eyes gloss over the sentences without actually taking in any information, as my mind wanders in a pre dream state. That’s also how I drive 99% of the time. The other 1% I’m just flat-out asleep.”

“Don’t sell yourself short—sell yourself medium, because it’s taller. Did you know my love is refillable? For just .99 cents.”