“A brick could be placed down on the first step on the path to enlightenment.”

“A brick could be inserted in your chest in place of your heart. And for just a couple thousand dollars more, an artificial heart could replace the brick.
”

“A brick could be used measure the volume of love in any given bathtub. But for the test to be accurate, I’m going to need you to disrobe and step down here. Don’t worry, I’m already naked and in the water—and it’s warm. 
”

“A brick could be fired out of a cannon, in an attempt to bring down a brick wall, just as index fingers could be severed and flicked at politicians, to try to correctly redirect blame.
”

“A brick could be wrapped in plastic and sold individually to toddlers as toys. (Warning: Bricks can be harmful if swallowed. If ingested, please contact a physician first, and then the manager of a circus.)
”

“A brick could be used to smash my bottled up rage, and a blanket could be laid down beforehand to catch the shards. 
”

“A brick could be used to help you keep your job. Just hold it down, man.
”