“A brick could help me hold down a job. Hey, in an economy as bad as this, every little bit helps. ”
“A brick could be used to keep your sandwich pressed down, so your meat doesn't spill out. ”
“A brick could be used as toilet paper—especially if you just shit a brick. You could shit and wipe your way to a wall of privacy. ”
“A brick could be used to keep thieves away from your house. Just set a brick outside your front door, and you won’t need any additional security. Years will go by and nobody will steal the brick. And because the brick won’t get stolen, it’s proof that it deterred thieves from approaching your property. ”
“A brick could be used to motivate. Just hold it up as an example of something that’s going nowhere in life. ”