“A brick could be used like a Viking skull holds soup. If you bring a spoon, I can quench your thirst—and your hunger. 
”

“A brick could be used to satisfy your hunger—and satisfy my curiosity.
”

“A brick could be used to help you keep your job. Just hold it down, man.
”

“A brick could be used to assuage your sense that life isn't real. Hold it in your hands and say, This is not a dream.
”

“A brick could be used for bric-a-brac. If you bring the brick, I’ll bring the brac.
”

“A brick could be used as a dream stimulator. Just tap it gently against your forehead. And if the mechanism gets stuck, just slam it down on your skull to jar everything loose.
”

“Today I ate my manuscript with the very spoon I used to write it with. My book was called “Chicken Noodle Soup for the Stomach.”
I wrote it with alphabet soup, and then edited it with a can of chicken noodle soup.”