“A one dollar bill, though it weighs less than 99 pennies, is psychologically heavier.”

“I’ll flick a penny to the dirt, and if I see one on the ground I won’t pick it up. So why is .99 cents so much sexier than a dollar?”

“I’m a natural salesman. I sold my soul to the devil. I’m so shrewd that I got pennies on the dollar for it. Ha! Wait, a buyer who gets pennies on the dollar is the clever one in the deal. Damn it! Lucifer tricked me!”

“If given the choice, I’d take five ones over a five-dollar bill, because women prefer men with lots of money.”

“If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I reminded them of Orafoura’s shadow, I’d have a penny more than ninety nine cents. And even then that’s because I muttered it to myself this morning in the shower.”

“Can you break my five-dollar bill into five singles? Women love guys with lots of money.”

“If I ever get a 20-dollar bill, I like to convert it into 20 singles, because women like guys with lots of money.
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