“Consumerism has a religious day called Black Friday.”

“A shopping cart flipped upside down forms a cage that I use to protect myself from consumerism.”

“The kitten I got is black and white and has long hair. Really long hair (think Willie Nelson). I decided to call him Cap’n because his markings make him look like a pirate. The majority of his face is white, except over his left eye is a black patch of fur, like an eye patch, and under his chin he has black hair that’s long and comes to a point like a goatee. Also, when I got him he had a parrot on his shoulder and a wooden leg.”

“I don’t like Mondays, especially if they occur on Fridays.”

“Tomorrow’s Pancake Friday, despite the fact that it’s Monday, and I don’t eat breakfast.”

“The problem with Marxism is the proletariat isn’t going to rise up against capitalism and consumerism. The only time they’ll rise up is during a commercial break to either go to the bathroom or grab more beer.
”

“Night—it’s the only thing that will cover up one of my black moods. Good thing my depression isn’t an every day kind of thing. It’s an after day thing.”