“Don’t try to hog loneliness and keep it all to yourself. Share it with a special someone.”

“I’ve got you covered. Just don’t hog all the blanket.
”

“You can share in my joy, but I don’t want to share my misery. No, I want to give away my misery. Go ahead, take it all.”

“If you’re wrestling someone underwater, don’t try to choke them, because it’s redundant since they already can’t breathe.”

“A brick could be used to let that special someone in your life know how much you love them. Instead of tossing out a careless I love you, try tossing a brick at them instead.
”

“The girl of my dreams got married to someone else. But that’s OK. I don’t need her beside me to keep her locked in the dungeon of my heart.”

“I was joking about my clones to my family when my uncle Herman said, “Don’t do that. Don’t make fun of yourself and others at the same time.” And he’s right. It is confusing. Am I mocking myself, or joking at the expense of someone else?”