“Enjoy a life of poverty. Become a poet.”

“I enjoy the small things in life. Like my penis.”

“To become one who believes two become one, you need love in your life.”

“Coffee and donuts go together like government policy and subsequent poverty.”

“I hope you enjoy reading my book as much as I didn’t enjoy writing it. Just kidding! I hope you don’t enjoy it at all.”

“On TV, I can hit the mute button and silence any moron. I wish real life came with a hush button I could push and enjoy instant quiet.”

“I’m rich in poverty. I got no money coming out of my ass. I’m up to my neck in broke.”