“Even a fool recognizes that there is great sadness in a bucket of tears. But only a wise man thinks to conserve water and use that bucket to wash his car.”

“I want to laugh hysterically into a bucket of water, have my humor imprinted on each water molecule and then drink the funniest drink ever.”

“I know great art when someone doesn’t wash their hands after making it. And not only did Duchamp not wash his hands, but he didn’t even flush!”

“If anger were money, only a fool would greedily save it up. And a wise man would let it slip out of his heart like change slips out of his pants pockets.”

“I have all the things I need to succeed in life, including a bucket of unicorn urine.”

“If somebody pushed you down a well, I’d rush over and toss you a bucket, because I’m fucking thirsty.”

“I am three forks away from eating all your food with two homeless guys. It’s too bad I only have a suitcase full of spoons and a bucket of soy sauce.”