“I did a charity walk the other day. They asked for money, and I walked.”

“When I walk my dog, people always ask if we’re twins.”

“Walk Like A Pine Tree Day occurs on Stand Still Day. Orafoura and I observe both—and we observe whatever else we may be standing next to.”

“My wallet was empty after the charity auction. Of course, my wallet was empty before the auction too. I donated my time and money to strippers.”

“If I could fly, life would be amazing. But paraplegic people say the same thing about walking, and I freaking hate walking. Somebody might ask me, “Hey, do you want to go for a walk?” and I’ll reply, “Nope. But I do want to have a seat on a chair with wheels and roll along with you.” So maybe flight isn’t so cool after all. Possibly birds get pissed off they have to fly everywhere. 
”

“I once saw a politician walking a dog, and I thought, “How absurd—an animal walking an animal.” Then I thought, “If given the choice, I’d rather vote for the dog.”

“Like a midget, I walk tall and proud.”