“I find politicians’ speeches moving. Sometimes I don’t even pack up before forever leaving their vicinity.”

“I don’t think he’s dumber than a politician. But only because it’s not possible to be dumber than a politician.”

“A pastor, a politician, and a brick walk into a bar, and the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve rigid nonthinkers here.” So the brick and the pastor look at the politician, who turns around and leaves.
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“To some dogs I don’t like cats, to some cats I don’t like dogs, and to some people I don’t like. Mostly the people I don’t like are lawyers, lobbyists, and politicians.”

“Birthdays are like politicians. I don’t like any of them, but they still keep coming around.”

“Most people don’t know where money comes from. Even most of our elected officials don’t know. If you were to ask a politician where money comes from, s/he would probably reply, “I don’t know, from other people’s pockets?”

“Whether you’re a Democrat or a Republican, I think everybody can agree that politicians are crooks. But I don’t think politicians are thieves, because you can’t steal what you’ve been given. Once we stop giving in, they’ll stop taking.
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