“I hope you don’t mind, but I took the liberty of taking away your freedoms. –Uncle Sam
”

“I would rather save a few seconds than a few cents. I hope you don’t mind, but I’m saving them in your sofa cushions.”

“Instead of selling other countries weapons, we should sell them candles. Maybe then instead of singing the praises of war, they’d start singing Happy Birthday. And I don’t know anybody, not even my bully of an uncle, Uncle Sam, who wants to start a fight during that song.”

“You’re under no obligation to accept my oppression, but it is strongly recommended. I’ll make you love me, even if I have to impoverish you and then imprison you. –Uncle Sam”

“Broke is a relative term, like sister, cousin, or Uncle Sam.
”

“You can share in my joy, but I don’t want to share my misery. No, I want to give away my misery. Go ahead, take it all.”

“I collect collectivisms. I’ve already got socialism and communism, and all I need is fascism to complete the set. I’m looking to trade my dusty democracy, but Uncle Sam isn’t interested in a deal at this time. 
”